Grieving

“What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul,” (Yiddish Proverb). "A merry heart does good like a medicine," (Proverbs 17:22). “Laughter is a loud smile,” (author unknown). The point is, laughter feels good and it helps us do our job. I’ll go ahead and confess, I’ve been known to deface a magazine with random mustaches and crack jokes about “poo.” If you’re a witness to my sophomoric sense of humor, I am both sorry and glad because you probably laughed.

Laughter helps us connect with each other. It mends a broken spirit; however, there comes a point when laughter has done all that it can do to remedy the circumstance. Usually this happens when we’re all alone. It’s at this time when we come face to face with how we hurt. Our culture says to suck “it” up and push it down—stay busy and don’t think about it—especially for men and even more so for firefighters, cops, medics, etc! I want to challenge that notion. Allow yourselves the opportunity to grieve. Likewise, after a time, allow yourself the freedom from grief. Grieving is a process with health being the end result. It’s our body’s way of helping itself. Don’t be a hater! Love yourself by letting your body do its thing.

We have, or will soon, experience grief that doesn’t make sense (i.e. crimes against humanity, a successful fire-rescue, etc). Maybe the person survived a horrific scene and yet we still get all mentally mixed up? It doesn’t make sense right? After all, the person lived! Well, the grief is perfectly normal. Our bodies have a natural ability to empathize with other’s experiences; in fact, there’s a neurological basis for it (our brains actively “feel” other’s pain). To say we’re unaffected is simply not possible. Don’t be surprised if you feel overwhelmed after a scene that “ended well.”

The best things we can do for our career-longevity is to understand, prepare for, and recuperate from the incidents we run on. Think about this holistically (all encompassing). Essentially, we need to be just as prepared for the mental aspects of the job as the mechanical. More on this to come…

I take comfort in Scripture (J). Hear the strength in the words found in Isaiah 41:10, “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

For anyone currently struggling, I offer this prayer and video:

Dear LORD, console us in our hour of grief, meet us where we are, and make us laugh. May your strength and love dwell within our hearts and give us peace and courage to do all things needful in the days to come. Amen.

Career Survival Seminar

Press on fellas; press on. I'm talking about the guys from 2 The Rescue that travel and teach about firefighter career survival. In the areas of stress management and "fire family" research, there is not much to go on. There's a few books out there (i.e. I love a firefighter, The Firemans Wife, etc) but not much by way of empirical research (hard facts). I found this out firsthand when trying to write a term paper (and now a thesis) on "Work related stress of firefighters and the conflict it causes in families." I did a worldwide search and produced three scholarly articles (and one was about rural Austrailian firefighters!). I sat through a seminar tonight on this topic. Although it did not have research to back up ALL of the information presented, it still spoke truth. I believe the research will catch up to what these guys are teaching--they're ahead of the game so to speak. There is much work to be done in the area of the firefighter work-family-conflict. Way to go 2-The-Rescue for wading in uncharted territory. The work you're doing is not in vain.

Superman

Over the past year, many changes have taken place. I have been consumed with daily challenges that have required more energy than I thought was humanly possible. My wife sometimes says that I think I'm Superman. "I don't need you to be Superman," she says. I'm over ambitious, passionate about achieving results, and relish in a job well done. The problem comes when I take on too many causes. Superman could hear the cries of countless people; however, he could only chose one problem at a time. Did Superman ever take a nap or take a day off?

This year has taught me that no matter how super I think I can be, I cannot forget to take care of myself. Helping professions predispose us to help others at our own expense. It's easy to hear the cries of countless people and forget to rest. It is no secret, firefighters, police, and medics are sleep deprived, juggling numerous responsibilities, and faced with challenges that are life altering day in and day out. You could say that "burn-out" is our kryptonite. It's time for each of us to take a minute, examine our lives, and ensure we are taking care of ourselves. After all, Superman is fake and we have a job to do.



http://firefighterchaplain.blogspot.com

Lead the Way

Every good firefighter, driver, and officer knows that in order to be the best,  you have to build up your fellow co-workers. Consider the words of Desmond Tutu on issue of leadership:

- www.firefighterchaplain@blogspot.com

Memorial Day:
For the last three years, I have had the privilege of replacing all the flags in the cemetery in preparation for Memorial Day. This year I walked all three of our cemeteries alone. As I walked along, I thanked each one of the soldiers for giving so much to our country. I felt that they would be proud to have a fellow public servant honoring their grave sites. I wondered how many people would come to visit their loved one's resting place and what they would think when they saw that their grave had a new flag; maybe they would think, "Someone remembered--someone cares."

I found a few sites that had firefighter emblems engraved in the stone. I thought, although they did not fight in a war with bullets and bloodshed, they fought for the safety and well-being of the communities they lived in; they bled, cried, and faced the fear of death day in and day out. It's easy to overlook the obvious. I took care to place a flag there too because, "Someone remembered--someone cares."

Podcast

I'm toying with the idea of starting a podcast of short emergency related teachings. Check out the link for a preview.
http://web.mac.com/meckyseemeckydo/Site/Podcast/Podcast.html

Which way?

Psalms 119:105 says, "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path."

Ever thought you knew exactly how to get somewhere, like there is no doubt in your mind? I was en-route to a chimney fire thinking I knew exactly how to get there; I was wrong. I did not find out I was wrong until I went off on my way--only to meet a dead end. Thankfully, the fire turned out to be nothing and I was cleared back to the station before I met my dead end road.

When I got back to the station, I looked up the address on Mapquest. I did the "manly" thing and looked for directions after I needed them. If the fire had been the real deal, I would have gotten burned.

Question: Do you know for certain where you are headed? Many times we don't realize where we're headed because "we know where we're going." Maybe it's a relationship that seems good for us but is taking us places we won't want to be; maybe it's the way we spend our free time that will lead us astray from where we want to be in the future; maybe it's where we get our emotional, physical, or spiritual needs are met?

Pema Chodron once said, "The future is the result of what you are doing right now." Although I'm not a Buddist--she's right. So what's in your future? Ask yourself the following question as you go about your day: "Do I want my future to be the result of what I'm doing right now? At this very moment, as you're reading this blog, says that you are contemplating spiritual insight. What is the result of contemplating spiritual insight?

Set your mind on your future, both in this life and after. Let's ask the Ultimate Chief for the path we need take. Look up those directions before you get somewhere you don't want to be. Results happen; why not choose them?

Seeker

Funny how some people will do anything to get their fix. Responding to medical calls puts firefighters, paramedics, and police officers in the path of all sorts of drug addicted people we call "seekers." 

I ran on one today. This person was pretty slick--not sick and if it weren't for some paramedics that have dealt with this person, I would have thought the complaint was sincere.

What if we sought peace in our lives with the same vigor the seekers seek drugs? How important is our relationship with Jesus? Are we willing to do anything to get a Jesus fix?

Emergency services can wear even the strongest out when we don't get our daily dose of the "peace of God, which transcends all understanding, [which] will guard your minds in Christ Jesus," (Phil 4:7 ).  Are you a peace seeker? Have you had your fix?

Surveillance

Christ tells us "Be careful, or your hearts will be weighed down with dissipation, drunkness and the anxieties of life, an that day will close on you unexpectedly like a trap" (Luke Ch. 21: 34). (Christ speaking of His return)

Just as Firefighters, Police, and Military Personnel train to be ready in an instant, to be on-guard, and never slack, we as Christians must be prepared. Only when we stay on-guard will we truly be able to guard ourselves, our brothers, and the people we swore to protect.

"Get Ready, Stay Ready"

Get Ready; Stay Ready

Time and time again, I go on general fire alarms and rarely do they amount to anything. Today, as we headed down the road responding to a fire alarm, I was faced with two options: to get ready (don air-pack, full gear, etc.) because this may be the "real thing," or rely on the past experiences and find it to be a false alarm (skip the pack and full gear). It is said that "Success is a struggle; good preparation is the key to winning that struggle" (Anonymous). In order to be a successful firefighter, police officer, or EMS provider, we must be prepared. As most of you well know, we can never be prepared for everything; however, as I was faced with the two options this morning I chose to "get ready." While this may look foolish to some, by "getting ready," I am preparing myself for success. Imagine the look on others' faces when "the real thing" happens and they failed to prepare. While they are spending time preparing, I'll be spending time putting the fire out!

What ever we do in life, can always be enhanced and sometimes--almost perfected, IF we give enough time for preparation. While others may think I'm crazy for donning full gear (including irons) for a fire alarm, I'm staying ready. The question is are you?